tired

i'm so burned out. I've been going strong, non stop, pedal to the medal on crack for 5weeks now. actually even longer -- all summer and end of spring quarter (last year) too. its been a weird trip - especially the summer - but overall good. i'm at the point now where really this is it...i've been taught just about everything, my thesis is coming up and then the real world. time to do it now...right fucking now because after this - that's it - no more school. i'm so passionate about what I do that really its been a good battle but now its just taking its toll on me. i haven't been to the gym since last april. i've smoked on and off a few times. i don't watch what i eat and i drink a lot of beer(only recently within the last 4weeks have i really cut down to almost none). i don't sleep much. sometimes i'll go almost all day with next to nothing to eat and drink. the list goes on. still though i'm happy and pleased with my results regarding the work i do. i got another roll back and i am quite disappointed. it's weird..you'd think now that i know what i'm doing both technically and aestheticaly you'd think i'd have it down at least somewhat...well i don't. with this type of photography that i do every roll is a mystery to me until i get it back. i think this time around i was thinking too hard. planning to hard. thinking things over too technically. the first 2 rolls were awesome because I was loose and had no idea what I was doing. technically it felt like an experiment and common sense tells you that with 100 speed film at night you stop down to like f2 or 5.6. but regardless i got some very favorable results. this time around not so much. so tonight i went out again and took 1/2 a roll in 1hour 45min which is like a record. i hope that flying through it and not thinking much about stuff will brings thing back to what they were like the first 2 rolls. we'll see. i don't present for another week so i have a little time. i also went to this totally CREEPY island near savannah. i mean this place was like no mans land kinda. the only things on it are a HUGE convention center which when not in use takes up a lot of space, a hotel and a golf course. everything else is just space and woods and what not. so theres this road though that kinda goes around the perimeter except theres this one part that has a dirt path that goes like 2miles until you hit the shoreline. so strange...and theres nothing out on this road...its almost like a race track....which is funny because that night i was out there i witnessed my first illegal street race. it was so disconnected and quiet....man! well i'm beat g'night