the truth about you....

***this is a long one...if anything please just read the paragraph with the "******" next to it! THANKS!

the truth about you....sometimes I sit back and ask that question about myself. I wonder. I ponder. who knows.

last week sucked...it was the worst week i had had in a loooong time. monday my photography prof wrote me a letter that really left me baffled. tuesday i almost killed my dog and then my programming prof blew me off. thursday a prof that i don't even know was a dick to me for no reason except that he didn't want me, a student, proving him wrong about something. and friday sucked too.

So yea, the photography thing. i've calmed down a bit. i was totally enraged at first. it's not easy hearing some of the things that were said....but I guess in the end i should be glad that someone is totally honest with me even if it is just their opinion. nothing like this would ever be said to a student at montgomery(the vsfx dept) and that is partly why I decided to take a photo class as an elective.

when it comes to photography I go with simple, basic, easily digestable ideas. i don't take pictures to change the world. i'm not trying to make you get up and join greenpeace because we're destroying the landscape on a daily basis. if that's how you feel after viewing my work, than good! great! i'm so glad that you were able to take it to that level...but really i don't put the pressure on myself to do that.

i can sit here all damn day writing the most brilliant complex mind boggling world changing artist statement and then go out and take pictures to match my idea when what it boils down to is that one day my work may be hanging in some gallery located in ibijuanahanualtmala where some dood from suburia is gonna stroll in and look at it. is there gonna be an artist statement to read? no...and even if there is you think he's gonna care? no..probably not. he'll look at my work and either like it or hate it...bottom line. i'd say it's safe to say that at least 90% of this world has had little to no formal art training or history. are those people going to get it? no probably not....not unles the idea is basic and simple. it can be powerful and meaningful but it has to be basica and understandable.

i'm so sick of the "my life is this tormented eggshell and i'm gonna show you how I was beaten as a child...i'm an artist let me show you how artsy i am...weeeee" photography. that's not me.... i really think she just doesn't get my work..

*********so before I go on any further and ramble more i'm going to say this....some of you have asked to see my work. well, my portfolio is due wednesday. and i want you to know that i'm going to put it up online for everyone to look at. all i ask is that you respond with a comment to my blog. i don't care if you have a PHD in art or whether you deliver the mail everyday i'm just curious as to what you all think. be as honest and truthful as you can....trust me i can take it. i would like to try and prove my point to some degree. this blog is actually part of the requirement for the class I just chose to do it in an online form for conveniance(and because I have really messy handwriting).

ok back to rant....she keeps wanting more from the landscape. more detail more depth...etc etc and i'm like if that's how you feel you dont get it. I will flat out admit(and be the first to do so) that some of my work this quarter hasn't been good....i've had a few bad shots, a few bad rolls of film and few times where i had to figure shit out technically ... BUT SHIT...that's the name of the game that's how you go from A to Z when doing a body of work(and having to do it in 10weeks!)....and ya know what so has just about everyone in the class. so if i go out into the night to shoot and just illuminate everything than whats the point? the landscape has been glorified. i might as well shoot during the day then! if i don't give people a least a taste as to what nighttime really is then i'm not being true to how i feel.

you'll see what I mean when I post my artist statement online........

Art is so subjective and I guess i'm slowly learning that because here I am at another place being given a completely different set of opinions :-)